about my projected love life?

about where I am,

adhesive and slightly stretchy

a few friends since then.

and draped in worn wool

and powdered fake milk

and hiding beneath the couch cushions

and I don’t have time

and intestinal damage

and quickly walk away

and right of due wrongs

and shrink beneath.

and smirk on the slow walk back home.

and so on.

and sweet and kind,

and the fashioner of faux forms.

and touch

around your standards,

a set of words

as gruesome as it was gray?

as my actions turn to stone

attending to and aching for

at your beck and call, gawam!

back at me while

back then and today

before the fog settled in?

begging me to glue together broken seams

believe it or not.

both as a concept and a construct

burnt dots on my face tonight,

but have been assured

But I find

but I think

but I think I know

but my mind wears me

but never feel.

but not in real life.

but probably needed

by your loss

Can we talk

despite all of my despites

destined to live and breathe

down most days.

everything in one room,

for as long as I say

for me

fractured and soft

free yet passive

fresh and smooth

friends who were bold

friends who were shallow and sheer

friends who were young

hot and sour,

How long has it been

how they got here

I’d like to see

I’d rather dream

I’d rather experience

I’d rather fail

I’d rather live

I’d rather live

I’d rather remain

I’d rather want

I am

I am addressing

I am sometimes offered

I am thinking of

I am thinking of

I apologize

I attempt to

I can’t tell

I can finally hear

I can see

I can’t recall

I don’t mean to

if I look weird.

I flex my new wings

if my evening lullaby informs

if that means that

if you are being sincere,

I keep thinking

I left

I love

I love

I made

I made

I made

I made

I made

I made

I made

I made

I made attempts

in a bare kitchen sink

in over a week.

instead of tears,

in the folks who sat beside

in the form of a question.

in your universe

I respond

I see and hear

I struggle with

it all

it distracting that you fire

items that are sitting above

, I think

I think I need

I try my best

I try to ignore

It seems like we were

I wanted

I wanted

I wanted to believe

I wanted to care

I wanted to eat

I wanted to gain

I wanted to see

I wanted to wield

I want to

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

I want to put

I was a child.

I wear

I wish I had

I’ll bring

I’m not sure how you

knowing them by heart

let me see as

Let’s regroup and refresh

like a stamp with newborn wings

like rain on a warm day,

like the cough syrup that I feared

like the life that I could see

like the walls around us.

like unsalted butter

looking for opportunities to leap

lucking my way out

making light of cracked tape

May we be? May be.

me in my own way

me of my worth.

mind my expectations.

more delicate words tomorrow.

mostly keep it together.

my body through

my cake with the candles

My decisions revolve

My mind waves

My understanding of time is

My words are

near salted wounds

near the end of each week.

not flinching an inch

of a joint resolution

of being in-between.

of business envelopes

of sugary spring water

or a sweater that’s coated in mud

our dinner guests.

our kitchen countertop

pale birds of pained wisdom

prizes when I remain sticky

pulled it off

Remember when you were awakened

second to the one and only one,

sharp and cross-eyed,

silently humming the words

Silly, I know.

since I have not washed my face

since we last danced

slow and somber,

smiling from chin to cheek

solid gray figures

splish-splashing for hours

still fuming

than be.

than cope with

than sleep.

that have accumulated

that I was capable of

that likely makes little sense to you

that only I can comprehend

that you weren’t okay

that you were omnipresent

the approval of

the brags,

the girl who bows down

the guts to make my words

the indulgent arbiter

the laughs,

the mistake of being

then eat the candles too.

then evaporating in due time.

the never-ending state

the one who knows

the ongoing fiction within

these words despite

the silence might be worse.

the slits,

the smacks,

the specifics

the thoughts that run down my back

The truth is, I don’t want

the womb with limited guidance,

the zifts,

thinking to myself, so what?

those two foreign words

time to leave me be and

to be there

to be your kind of good

to cross fires and hold hands

to hide them at dawn.

to jump, swim and move.

to my well-intended goals

to sheer romance,

to smile, say ’hello,’

to sugar-free acid,

to your old cassettes

two weeks ago.

Tylenol for kicks.

under my guise,

unnoticed by day

versus where I was

Was the day-to-day

Was the distance doable?

Were you awake

what I have done

what’s left of me.

when convenient

when greeted with new faces

when I was home, sick.

when you call.

when you told me

Where did your mind go?

where the keys are,

where these words stiffen and smirk

while adorned in plated earrings

while dodging eye contact

whispering, ’I love you more.’

who bumps then nods,

Who can I trust indoors?

who catches the fall

who covers these loose lashes

who has, quote, been through a lot.

who keeps it mostly together,

who keeps it together mostly,

who makes love

who stands aside a beaming shadow,

who sweats blood

who tinges with regret,

why you are upset.

winning the world over

with a curt smile,

with a return ticket home.

with knotted answers

with the bricks,

with wavy mirrors,

woo-y and blue

ya salaam

yesterday or last week

you’re alright.

you every day

you from a length of space and time

young in my early years.

you put this kind of effort

your kind of power

your teeth shining and

You weren’t joking